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Nov 16, 2011

Dealing with Crisis: Danger and Turning Point



Every family goes through crises. Often, they can be turning points in our families that bring us closer or tear us apart. Because, they are necessary and can be so volatile, I would like to share what our authors of our text, and observations from our professor were on the subject. 

The Chinese character for crisis is a combination of 2 symbols: Danger and Turning Point(http://pinyin.info/chinese/crisis.html)

http://www.living-chinese-symbols.com/chinese-symbol-crisis.html
Depending on how you handle the situation and how you view it, it can be a danger, but also a turning point for the family. Good and bad can come of it, depending on how it is handled. Here are some examples of crises: Death, illness, childbirth, winning the lottery, moving across the country, getting married, job loss and there are hundreds of others I could add to the list. Interestingly enough, not all crisis are necessarily categorized as bad. They are inevitable and can hurt or help your family structure.

Beleive it or not, there are effective coping mechanizms that will help your family be stable and deal well with these upheavals. I was fascinated to note the solutions.

Here were some basic familial suggestions that work universal, provided by our "Marriage and Family: The Quest for Intimacy" by Lauer and Lauer:

- Problem solving and conflict management skills(See next post for insight on this)
-Celebrations(birthdays, religious, special events)
-Communication of beliefs and emotions
-Good Financial Management
-Hardiness of the Family: a belief that they are in control of their lives, and can handle what life throws at them.
-Physical and Emotional health
-Shared leisure activities
-Acceptance of each person's personality and behavior.
-A network of family and friends
-Routine family meals and chores.
-Generational traditions

A trend that we observed in class when discussing the different coping mechanisms fascinated me! There was a principle that separated good and bad coping mechanisms. For each of the good coping mechanisms there was a principle of action and responsibility. Conversely, for each of the bad coping mechanisms, it was a lack of action and responsibility. Here were the differences:

Effective Coping- Taking Responsibility, affirming family worth as a unit, balanced self concern with others concern, the art of re-framing (approaching it with different attitudes and ideas), finding and using available resources.

Infective Coping- Denial, Avoidance, Scapegoating,

One of the most difficult things you will encounter in your family is crisis. It is so vital that it is dealt with well. Opposition is bound to come, but we can make it a benefit, or a hardship to your family. It is your choice.

"D&C 38:30-I tell you these things because of your prayers; wherefore, treasure up wisdom in your bosoms, lest the wickedness of men reveal these things unto you by their wickedness, in a manner which shall speak in your ears with a voice louder than that which shall shake the earth; but if ye are prepared ye shall not fear."






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